Jim & Pat

What a bizzare onstage spat between James Cordon and Patrick Stewart at the Glamour Women of the Year awards.I have to say it has whole heartedly altered my previous opinions of the two chaps.
To start i am not a fan of James Cordon, he for me falls into the fashionable comedian catagory, like Russel Brand and that other lukewarm Russel fella on Mock the Week, who to me is no more than Franky Boyles packing Styrofoam.
James Cordon is a bit more of an enigma as unlike Brand he doesn't really have the stunning visual presence which greatly helps you get away with tepid comedy, and he is quite annoying. I wont say the two Russels and Cordon are totally unfunny, they have all at times begrudgingly made me smile, and I confess a titter once or twice when deliberately scowling through there on screen presence. On the whole though i don't find him funny, its like having to route through some shitty risotto to get to the bits you can stand but don't overly care for.

This doesn't mean i want to see him get bullied on camera by some sulky old Queen. Que a cured Professor Xavier who's black cloud was likely caused back in his dressing room, I expect something along the lines of his specially requested Guinness imbibed ham and green tomato chutney sandwiches losing there chill under his mirror lightbulbs.

(check the clip and feel similar childhood sensations of your parents arguing on a busy Saturday in B&Q)



Unlike Cordon Patrick Stewart was someone i genuinely respected and would still rather find out it was a slip into Senile dementia over it being he's just unpleasant. Even worse it seemed he intentionally attempted to initiate the Audience to join in with his nastiness, not only directly engaging with them about James cordon he also seemed to expect the crowd to applaud his memorable 'hands in pockets' lecture under the fail safe guise of old luvvy professional standards, Which failed and deserved to fail. The result was a snobbishly pointless and spiteful criticism with the intent to humiliate James Cordon. Even if he genuinely felt strongly about the issue as much as a school headmaster mite, he isn't a headmaster and was committing unprofessional hypocrisy voicing it into a microphone.


Old Jean Luc was probably motivated by feeling general irritation towards James Cordon as he's a Annoying fat bloke. On that regard i empathize and feel his irritating presence is equal to a tramp coming into a KFC after you decided to sit in, or thinking you may have left your bedroom window open while literally getting on the bus. Even though he creates the instantaneous loathing of witnessing a crying fat kid whining that his legs are tired from walking up the road while stuffing a choc ice in his mouth. He is still a person and I can see a genuinely Gentle and benign nature. Okay so his voice can reach sperm whale octaves making collies nationwide lazily lift one ear up, and he's made bucks by doing a far inferior 21st century truffle shuffle, that still didn't deserve such an assault by the old skinwig.



Cordon handled it well, even if at times he may of come across as aggressive and emotionally effected. It showed clearly he has dealt with bullies before and he quickly snubbed Stewarts rant Causing the gentrified Yorkshire baldie to immediately look regretful, i expect thinking "just keep smiling Pattie and fuck off as soon as the advert break music starts". That shield of a grin Patrick Stewart wore gave me the mental image of one of those human eyed monkeys protecting her babies from a gang of raccoons.

Another explanation to the unprovoked attack is it could of been a rather Ill attempt on Patrick's part to be funny. He has now touched the hem of Ricky Gervaises black t-shirt. Its possible he thought he would start some banter and Cordons traumatic history with bullies caused him to be over defensive. It does seem bizarre for Stewart to start on the host of an awards evening and there was a look of genuine befuddlement on his face at times, and the belly comment almost looked like he was reading it. Cordon also seemed easily bruised before the actual proper verbal Melee. It can really only be that Patrick Stewart played a very bad hand at trying to be funny or that he's a mardy old bastard.

Poor Cordon did look openly distressed by the situation with the submissive breath out and watery eyes, but he kept it together and recovered it well not giving the power Stewart seemed to be seeking through faux-calm. I do feel a certain amount of respect for Cordon, not as a comedian even his retorts in that situation where shit, but as a bloke who stood his ground and stood it well. As for Stewart, not as an actor and a silky voiced thespian, but showing himself to be a bullying unpleasant arsehole i have gone right off him.